


A Christmas Wish

by franscats



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-08
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-10-01 04:12:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10180406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/franscats/pseuds/franscats
Summary: After the dissertation mess, Blair leaves thinking he needs to restore his reputation before he can work in Cascade..  Both Blair and Jim make a wish to see each other at Christmas.





	1. A Christmas Wish - Blair

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the The Sentinel Secret Santa 2016 extravaganza.  
> Chapter one is Blair's point of view. Chapter two is Jim's point of view

Blair Sandburg watched the passing scenery as he sat on the Greyhound bus. If he were actually paying attention to what was going by, he would see the changes in scenery as he headed from the warmer climate of Anaheim California to the much colder climate of Washington State. He would see the trees lose their leaves and the flowers disappear.

But Blair wasn’t paying attention; he was staring sightlessly out the window, his curious nature totally suppressed, his soul empty. Blair, who most would describe as emotive and enthusiastic, felt nothing; he was numb and had been numb ever since he had packed his bags and left Cascade, leaving behind only a note that said goodbye to Jim Ellison. At the time, it seemed the right thing to do. He had screwed up royally leaving Jim’s name in the document and letting Naomi have access to his dissertation. The disaster that resulted from her “helping” him had stretched the limits of his friendship with Jim. So, he had tanked his career. In his heart he knew this sacrifice had to be made. It was his mess and he had to clean it up, even if it ended his chances of being with Jim.

Yes, Simon and Jim had offered him a badge, and Jim had said Blair was the best partner he had ever had, but how could he be a cop if he didn’t restore his reputation? Anything he said would be called into question and people might wonder about Jim

Leaving had been the hardest thing he had ever done because, even if he had never admitted it to Jim, and barely admitted it to himself, he was in love with Jim. He thought about how to say goodbye and walk out the door but he knew if Jim asked him not to go, he wouldn’t be able to bring himself to leave and he was terrified that Jim might not ask him to stay. So he left a note saying goodbye and disappeared without ever talking to Jim about it. He knew Jim would see his departure as abandonment but he couldn’t think of any other recourse. He had to go and he couldn’t face Jim before leaving.

With no destination in mind, Blair had gone south, trying to figure what he should do. That had been six months ago. Arriving in California and deciding it was as good a place as any, Blair had found a job working off the books and had started mapping out his future. Working off the books ensured him that Jim couldn’t find him because the idea that Jim might not want to find him was too painful to bear and he couldn’t handle coming home every night and seeing Jim had not tried to reach him.

First order of business, he contacted a lawyer to see what could be done to restore his reputation.

The lawyer, Mr. Brennan, had assured him that he had a case and that things could be fixed, even his academic reputation restored and, if he wished, reinstatement at Rainier. Blair had signed all the legal documents and Mr. Brennan hit Berkshire Publishing with a fifty million dollar lawsuit. He also started a suit against Rainier for terminating Blair’s job and expelling him without due process or cause.

The upshot, within six months both organizations had settled and, after all the legal fees, negotiations and taxes, Blair was five million dollars richer. But he had no Jim to share it with, and despite his reputation being restored, he no longer considered anthropology as a field he would return to.

He had other venues he could explore; he certainly wouldn’t go back to Rainier, too many painful memories there. Psychology had always been of interest and, with his background in police procedure, profiling could be a good avenue. Maybe even law, he could protect others from people like Sid Graham and there were a few good educational institutions besides Rainier in Cascade if he wanted to stay.

Sighing, and gathering his stuff as he got off the bus at the main terminal in Cascade, Blair stopped unsure where to go or what to do. Sure he had money for a hotel, but that wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted to go “home” and that meant the loft. But after skipping out on Jim, he didn’t know if he would be welcomed.

Walking past the Christmas displays that announced Christmas was but a day away, Blair made his way to the street and hailed one of the waiting cabs. “Where to?” the cabbie asked, and again, Blair debated home or a hotel.

He could always check into a hotel if Jim kicked him out. But if Jim did kick him out- the sheer terror of that idea stopped him. He couldn’t go any further with that scenario. It had him frozen unable to process. “Where to?” the cabbie repeated and Blair, calling himself a coward, told the cabbie the Hilton on Main before climbing in.

Entering the Hilton, Blair noted it was decorated for the season. Beautiful red poinsettias adorned the front desk, a Christmas tree covered in white lights stood in a corner, an etched glass Menorah in another, and Kwanzaa symbols were artfully arranged on a table. Near the sofas and armchairs in the lobby, a large, white, marble fireplace, stocked with wood, was adding warmth to the scene. It was festive, with people bustling about all dressed up for Christmas Eve dinner, but Blair didn’t feel very festive as he walked up to the front desk.

“Good Evening, Sir,” the receptionist, a young man in a suit with red tie that had candy canes on it, smiled. “Checking in?”

Blair nodded pulling out his driver’s license and credit card. “Yes, thank you.”

“How long will you be staying?”

Blair considered the question for just one second. If Jim would take him back, he’d go stay with Jim tomorrow, if Jim wouldn’t, he’d leave Cascade tomorrow and never come back. “One night,” he said softly and the receptionist nodded, plugging information into the computer.

Finishing up, he handed Blair a key and directed him to the elevator bank. Blair nodded and turned going to the room. The only thing he noticed there was the phone. It was daring him to call Jim and Blair lifted it three times, each time, starting to shake as his fingers reached for the numbers. Finally, taking a deep breath to steady himself, he dialed Jim’s number.

“Ellison,” the voice on the phone said and Blair found himself paralyzed, no words would come out of his mouth, not even a whimper.

“Ellison,” Jim repeated, irritation entering his tone and still Blair couldn’t answer. He felt like he couldn’t breathe and he was pretty sure he would start hyperventilating in another minute. And then, after a pause, Jim continued, “Chief, is that you? Where are you, are you okay? Tell me where you are and I’ll come get you.” It wasn’t just the words that suddenly freed Blair so he could breathe, it was the tone, one of worry and relief.

“Jim, I’m back in Cascade. I…” weary, scared, worn out, emotionally drained, Blair didn’t know how to continue.

“Where are you?” Jim asked, gently.

“The Cascade Hilton, room 205. I didn’t know if you’d want to see me and-“

He was cut off. “Stay there, I’ll be there in 20 minutes,” the phone went dead and Blair slowly put the phone on the receiver and turned, sitting down on the edge of the bed, watching the door.

Fifteen minutes later, there was a knock and Blair flew over opening it. “Jim,” he croaked, his voice filled with emotion, and Jim’s arms came round him pulling him in for a hug. Blair hearing Jim sigh.

Stepping back, Jim let his hands frame Blair’s face. “Are you okay?”

Blair nodded. “I didn’t know if you’d want to see me, after,” he didn’t finish the sentence. “And I couldn’t stay unless I resolved the issues with Berkshire and Rainier. Too many people would ask why you were letting me stay after…after what happened.”

“But you’ve come home, right?” Jim asked and Blair nodded.

“Good, let’s go.”

Blair looked around the room. “I have to check out.”

“I don’t know why you’d check in here and not come straight to the loft. It is your home,” Jim answered, grabbing Blair’s bag. “Let’s go.”

Blair nodded, still feeling a little shaky as he walked down to the front desk and let the receptionist know he would not be staying before following Jim out to the truck. Getting in to the freezing cold truck, Blair never felt more warm or comfortable as Jim started for home.

“So, where have you been?” Jim asked. “I looked for you but you dropped off the grid.”

“I had to disappear until I could straighten things out. It was the only way to protect you. Have…have you been okay, have your senses given you problems?”

“There’s been a few glitches here and there, but, for the most part, things have been okay. I’ve kept them dialed down and Connor’s been of some help.”

“I missed you,” Blair said, quietly.

“Missed you, too, Chief,” Jim answered. “I was hoping I’d hear from you by Christmas. I guess my Christmas wish came true.”

“Mine too,” Blair agreed as Jim pulled up outside the loft.

Climbing out of the truck, Blair followed Jim into the building and up to their apartment. Jim opened the door and Blair stood inside the entrance and looked around, for one moment just enjoying being home with Jim. His gaze wandered the room and he noted his things were still on display and Jim had put his Menorah out on the coffee table. Smiling, he turned back to Jim. “You didn’t change anything.”

“I knew you’d come back,” Jim answered. “I hoped it would be sooner than later but we have unfinished business.”

“You mean about the dissertation?” Blair answered. “I do have some news about that.”

“No, not about the dissertation,” Jim answered and came closer, “about us.”

“Us?”

Jim nodded and pulled Blair into his arms. “Did you think I would ever want you out of my life? When you left, I realized what I had lost and I swore when you came home, I’d never let you go again.”

“Never,” Blair smiled. “In that case, kiss me.”

“Gladly,” Jim leaned down and kissed Blair, and for one moment Blair thought he might swoon, feeling Jim’s arms around him and Jim’s lips on his. Something inside of him woke up and he could feel his energy level soar.

“I love you,” Blair whispered, his hands running up Jim’s arms, holding tight to the man he had secretly loved for so long.

“Love you too, Chief. And don’t worry, we’ll find a job for you.”

“About that,” Blair answered, for one second leaning into Jim so he could catch Jin’s scent and feel the warm muscles surrounding him. “I sued Berkshire Publishing and Rainier since I never submitted the dissertation. My academic credentials are restored, Berkshire Publishing admitted I never submitted or authorized the publication of any part of the dissertation, and I’ve been financially compensated. I doubt I’ll go back for a degree in anthropology but I was thinking maybe psychology. I could be a profiler. Or maybe law. I bet I’d make a great defense attorney,” he said, his voice full of the excitement that had been missing for the last six months.

Jim leaned down and kissed the top of Blair’s head. “Whatever you want,” he answered. “I’ll support you with whatever you want to do.”

Blair smiled. “I’ll support you too. Did I mention, we’re rich.”


	2. A Christmas Wish - Jim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter one is told from Blair's point of view. Chapter two is told from Jim's point of view.

Coming in from work, Jim hung up his coat, put away his gun, and looked around the loft. It was as empty as when he left for work this morning and, as a result, as welcoming as a tomb. Glancing into the sterile kitchen, he thought about getting something to eat but decided he wasn’t really hungry. At work, people had been sharing treats all day and he had had his fill of cake, cookies and candies. Simon, Megan and Joel had all tried to talk him into going home with them for some holiday cheer but he had begged off saying he had a headache. And since none of them could tell if he had a headache because of his senses and needed down time and quiet, they finally gave up and let him go home. He had ignored the fact that all three seemed concerned with his holiday plans this year, or more precisely, with his lack of plans.

Sighing, Jim walked into Blair’s room; he refused to call it a guest room despite the fact that Blair had been gone for six months. On Blair’s bed was a box Jim had brought up from storage two days earlier. Opening it, he took out Blair’s Menorah and carried it into the living room, placing it prominently on the coffee table. Last year Blair had asked if it would be okay to put it out and Jim discovered how important following the tradition of lighting the Menorah was for Blair.

He had hoped that when he got home tonight, Blair might be here to light it or, at the very least, might have left some kind of message wishing Jim a Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukkah. It was Christmas Eve and the first night of Hanukkah and Jim had thought maybe he would hear from his missing partner.

But no, nothing.

Jim stepped out onto the balcony and looked up at the stars. Despite people singing about white Christmases, Cascade was cloudless on this particular Christmas Eve and the stars twinkled brightly. “Where are you, Chief?” he whispered and looked up at the sky, wishing Blair would come home, or at the very least, call him.

“Six months,“ Jim whispered, thinking back…

After the dissertation mess, Blair had been very quiet and reserved when he was offered a badge. Later, he had told Jim he couldn’t accept the offer, not until he had resolved a lot of issues. Jim had nodded his understanding and gone off to work after telling Blair to, “Relax, take a few days to get your head straight before making any decisions.”

That had been the last conversation he had with Blair. When he came in that night, some of Blair’s things were gone and he found a letter on the kitchen counter.

Dear Jim,

I know you are going to be angry when you read this, but I still think you will understand. I need some time to work things out and I’m going to disappear for a while. I’m leaving my stuff, if it’s in your way, just pack it up and put it in the basement or call Naomi, she’ll take it.

I know my dissertation has caused you a lot of pain. And knowing you, I’m sure my press conference has caused you pain as well. Understand Jim, I didn’t do the press conference out of some sense of obligation. I did it because I wanted to, so don’t feel bad about it.

I have to leave for a while or people will begin to wonder why you didn’t throw me out after the mess and might question whether you are a sentinel. So, leaving will protect you.

You have a lot of control over your senses now, and Megan or Simon can help. I’ve left the most important notes about your allergies and reactions on top of the bookshelf.

I hope you don’t think I’m abandoning you. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

I’ll miss you and think of you every day.

Blair

There were a few tear stains on the letter and Jim had read it three times, his fingers running lovingly over the paper before placing it in his strongbox upstairs.

Simon and Megan were still in the hospital recovering from Zeller’s attack on the PD when Jim came to see them and tell them Blair had left. Megan nodded, sniffing as she grabbed a tissue. “He’ll come back to you, mate,” she said. “He won’t want to stay away.”

Simon had nodded his understanding. “I understand why he did it. His reasons are sound. I would have supported him, but Jim, he was right.”

Jim could only nod in response.

While Simon and Megan were on sick leave, Jim, as senior detective in Major Crimes, was drafted to act as temporary Captain. The Deputy Commissioner figured since Jim was on desk duty because of his injured leg, he could cover the office with some assistance from Joel. So, Jim had told Joel about Blair’s leaving and that Blair lied at the press conference. Jim could tell the admission was no surprise to Joel.

Joel had nodded sadly and answered, “He’ll come back to you, Jim. You wait and see.”

Jim didn’t actually mind being the acting captain. Spending long hours at the PD kept him from an empty apartment and, when he finally got home, let him fall into exhausted, dreamless sleep. But a week into his temporary assignment, he got a day off and found himself limping around an empty loft. It took him a while, he hesitated a few times, but finally he entered Blair’s room and looked around. He could feel a lump in his throat as he went in and sat down on Blair’s bed, lifting a small picture off the nightstand. It was a picture of the two of them when Jim had taught him how to fly fish. “Chief,” he whispered. “You must have known I would never have let you walk out that door,” he said, his voice hoarse. “That’s why you left when I wasn’t home.”

Running a hand over the picture, he let his finger trail over Blair’s face. “I love you, Blair. Come home soon.” Putting the picture back, he went out of the room, quietly closing the door and deciding he would keep the room just as it was until Blair came home.

For the next three weeks, Jim continued as acting captain and then Simon came back and Jim went back to his own job. But there was one difference. For the most part, Jim refused to work with a partner. If it was a difficult enough case, he would work with Megan or Joel because they knew about his senses, but he had become the lone wolf he once was, saying he would wait till Blair came back to get a partner…

Looking up at the stars twinkling above, Jim made his wish. “Bring Blair home,” he told the star. “That’s what I want for Christmas.” He watched the star pulse and for one moment thought someone or something had heard his wish, but then dismissed the thought and walked back into the loft.

At that moment the phone rang and Jim glanced out the window at the sky and then at the phone. Picking it up, he said, “Ellison,” and heard no reply. “Ellison,” he repeated with annoyance, thinking this was some kind of telemarketing thing. But then he heard the person’s breath catch, and focusing his hearing, realized it was Blair.

“Chief, is that you? Where are you, are you okay? Tell me where you are and I’ll come get you.” Jim had to keep from shouting as he gripped the phone, tightly.

“Jim, I’m back in Cascade. I…”

“Where are you?” Jim asked, hearing uncertainty in Blair’s voice.

“The Cascade Hilton, room 205. I didn’t know if you’d want to see me and-“

“Stay there, I’ll be there in 20 minutes,” Jim hung up the phone, promising himself, he would tell Blair how he really felt about Blair - that he loved him, was in love with him.

Blair had come home and Christmas had come to the loft.


End file.
